remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize
