i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize