I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I am never drinking with the goths again.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
