I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
