I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
She bit a glass in half.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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