I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
