Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
