Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize