I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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