I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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