alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
