Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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