dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
