I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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