HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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