Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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