I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
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