This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
