your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
