You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize