He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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