She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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