I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
