I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
well you can't waste a boner
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
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