tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
