I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
