The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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