You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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