When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
