do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
