I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
party gras won. party gras always wins.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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