I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
