Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize