i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
