How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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