i was born a porn star she said
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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