this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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