I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
