I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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