I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
