the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
