Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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