Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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