The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
