The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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