Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize