Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I look better un-naked...
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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