After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
