My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize