Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize