I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize