I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
