Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Randomize
