I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Randomize
