It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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