I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
