then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
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