The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize