If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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